How Cloudera can go from 3+ Billion to 50+ Billion valuation in 7 days ?

Day 1: Get 3B debt, as interest rates are historically low. They already announced 500M buyback.

Day 2: Go private at 3.5B

Day 3: Rebrand themselves as pure Cloud play which is competing against Snowflake, Databricks, and all the big Cloud providers, which it is. They are not pure Cloud play as of now, but will be soon.

Day 4: Flush lot of information on Twitter, Reddit, Stocktwits, etc and create lot of enthusiasm among retail investors on how they are generating more revenue than Snowflake and how much they are undervalued, which they are. Get Robert Bearden on a show with Jim Cramer.

Day 5: Do press releases saying they will go IPO in 2 days

Day 6: Allure Warren Buffett and Carl Icahn to buy more shares pre IPO

Day 7: Go IPO at 25B valuation. With lot of froth and FOMO, it should goto 50B or may even see 100B, if stars are aligned.

In all seriousness, although 7 days is bit of an exaggeration, I feel this plan should work with right timelines, if executed well and once they get rid of older on-prem distributions and get those customers onto Cloud.

#cloudera

#saas

#snowflake

#ipos

#saasplatform

#retailinvestors